Messy Hearts Circle is intentionally structured.
That structure is what makes openness feel safer, not more exposed.
This page explains what to expect, how the space is held, and the agreements that guide each circle.
The Shape of a Circle
Each Messy Hearts Circle follows a clear, repeatable arc. Nothing is improvised in ways that put pressure on participants.
Typical Circle Format:
- Arrival & grounding
A gentle opening to help people arrive in their bodies and in the room. - Orientation & agreements
A brief review of how the space works and how we take care of one another. - Guided reflection
Thoughtfully designed prompts that invite personal reflection, not performance. - Structured sharing
Participants share in an intentional format that balances openness with boundaries. - Closing & integration
A calm closing to help people leave feeling grounded rather than raw.
You always know where you are in the process.
Group Size & Timing
- 6–8 participants
- 2-hour sessions
- In-person (NYC/Brooklyn) or online (Zoom)
The group is small by design.
Smaller circles allow for depth without overwhelm and ensure each voice has space.
What Sharing Looks Like
This is not an open discussion or free-flowing conversation.
Sharing happens within a structured format, supported by facilitation.
This reduces common group pressures like interrupting, over-explaining, or competing for airtime.
Participants are invited to:
- Speak from personal experience
- Share at their own pace
- Pass if they need to
- Listen without fixing or advising
Silence is allowed. So is uncertainty.
The Role of the Facilitator
The facilitator’s role is to hold the container, not lead the content.
This includes:
- Guiding the structure and pacing
- Naming transitions clearly
- Enforcing agreements consistently
- Interrupting advice-giving or cross-talk when needed
- Protecting emotional and psychological safety
The facilitator is not a therapist and does not analyze or interpret participants’ experiences.
Group Agreements
Every Messy Hearts Circle is held by shared agreements.
These are reviewed at the beginning of each session.
Core agreements include:
- Confidentiality
What’s shared in the circle stays in the circle. - Speak from “I”
Share your own experience rather than generalizations or advice. - No fixing, diagnosing, or advising
We listen to understand, not to solve. - No cross-talk
We don’t respond directly to others’ shares unless explicitly invited. - Consent and choice
You may pass, pause, or step back at any time. - Respect for difference
We hold space for different identities, experiences, and paths without comparison.
These agreements are actively held, not just stated.
What You Don’t Need to Do
You do not need to:
- Be articulate or emotionally polished
- Have clarity or answers
- Share everything
- Perform vulnerability
- Educate others
Messy Hearts Circle is not about saying the “right” thing.
It’s about being present with what’s true for you, as it is.
A Note on Safety & Scope
Messy Hearts Circle is a space for reflection and connection, not crisis support or treatment.
It is not therapy or a substitute for mental health care.
Participants are encouraged to seek appropriate support outside the circle if needed.
Finally…
Structure is not a constraint here.
It’s what makes the room feel held.
If you’re curious about joining, you can explore upcoming circles or reach out with questions.